Superstitions are for the bird-brains.

Tell everyone! Okay what am I talking about? I am talking about every book and website I have read that says something to the effect of the following: "Now that you know you are pregnant, don't tell ANYONE!" This makes no sense to me. First of all I am not the least bit superstitious, talking about something wonderful will NOT make it any less likely to happen. You will not jinx yourself. Second, and this may be more individual, but I have dealt with trauma all on my own and it sucks and is not healthy. Losing a baby would be incredibly traumatic, don't you want to be able to turn to people in you life for support? So here is what we are doing: told all of our parents as soon as we found out, next I have been telling people that I will never see again and people that have to know like my chiropractor (made an appt. just to be able to tell someone in person), next we are going to a doctor appointment to make sure we did not hallucinate the whole thing, then tell the rest of the extended family and friends (anyone who I would not mind talking to if things go south), the only people we are not telling until the second trimester are acquaintances or people that we only see now and then.

One of the reasons for this is to help bring the surprising frequency of miscarriage out of the closet. I had no idea that it happens as much as it does. I would have like to know that going in, instead of getting to worry about it all at once now that I have a passenger. It is a little overwhelming when you find out your preggers and start reading and find out that 1 in 5 women miscarry. Yikes! But hey they also say that 1 in 3 is raped and I am the 1 in that group, so maybe I will be one of the lucky 4 that makes it all the way the first time. Let's hope :)

Something else I noticed is the amount of stuff I am carrying is already increasing. I am usually a phone, id, money card shoved in the back pocket of my jeans kind of girl, now I am toting extra fluids and a plastic sick bag, just in case. So I see this as a gradual slide that starts with an extra bottle of water and ends in a diaper bag and monster carrier. It's true life does change when you bring a kiddo into things :)

We have our first doctor's appointment today, just blood work I think. I am seeing a new OB, my usual gyno did not even schedule me for 2 1/2 weeks when I called them and that did not sit right with me. I wanted to be seen immediately, too many questions, and I am the kind of person that will read something and think it is right but not be convinced until I have spoken with an expert in the field who is attuned to my particular case. I am also convinced that I am missing something vital to the well being of my child, and if I wait too long it will come out looking more like a seal than a person. Plus the receptionist was kind of bitchy and did not congratulate me once, eff her. They are also rural which I feel means they are more into the mechanics of the thing, treating it as old hat more than the emotional journey, and I think I want a more urban hippy kind of experience, lots of warm fuzz and ado, after all I am bringing life into the world, make me feel special, pamper me dammit!

I did go ahead and make the appointment with the original gyno for my first ultrasound which is on the 15th, I think, but I want to see what the new OB is like and if they are better then I will reschedule it with them. If not, I will continue my search for the right doctor. 

So that is all for the morning. Everything else is pretty much same-o, the puking never ends. There should be some kind of award for making it to the sink/toilet every time, in time.