Oh my...there's a person in there.

The latest ultrasound pictures are in and...he's looking less alien-esque every time we get to see him. I was kind of bummed after this last ultrasound, the tech was very subdued and only gave us pictures of his face. There was a really cute one where you could see both his feet and his tackle really clear, but we didn't get that one.

Most else is great. His placenta has moved to the correct location so no more worries there. He was head down during the scan, but I was unclear if that meant he would stay that way or if he just happened to be in that position.

He is moving around a whole lot now, the movements can be pretty strong, but I am told that will lessen as he runs out of room to move around as he gets bigger. His moving is starting to disrupt my sleep and be very uncomfortable, but what's a preggo to do? :)

We have his room mostly set up, just need to get the trim done, and put some shelves in his closet. Also need some decorations, probably a family picture after he gets here, and the art quilt from Grandma Karla, will be about all that little room needs.

I washed all of the clothes that we have accumulated for Leif so far and it took me an hour and a half to fold! Those little baby clothes are a pain to fold, jeez. I think I might end up with a "clean" pile, that just may be the last time I fold these tiny things, lol.

Not too much else going on here, starting to look toward the end of this part of the journey and get excited about meeting our little boy :)

The alien in my belly.

Well as you can see, I have not been very active on the blog recently. I believe this to be due to the fact that I have nothing to bitch about. I am feeling great, though I tire easily, and Leif is going gangbusters.

We had a doc appt this week, all is well on the uteral front. Leif's heart rate is starting to slow (135 bpm vs. 145 bpm last time), but that is normal and healthy and will continue to do so as his heart gets bigger (adults beat at about 70 bpm). My doc had promised us all an ultrasound this week, but she decided she wants to wait for another three weeks to peek in there to give his placenta time to really move away from the cervix, that way we don't all freak out because it hasn't moved enough, when really it just hasn't had enough time to do so. Thus no pictures for another 3-4 weeks! Bummer!

Leif, himself, is really cranking the movements into gear. I have a feeling he will be an excellent tap dancer, I can distinctly feel a cramp roll and I believe he almost has a jig down. Josh has been able to feel him moving around finally. In fact, his son kicked him in the ear last week, lol. Josh was shocked at how hard it was, I told him to imagine that came from inside your belly, he was amazed. In addition to kicks, I like to think that I am starting to be able to distinguish body parts, I am sure I have been able to feel his head, back, shoulder and either heel, knee, or hand. Very fun. He is also getting big enough to move my whole belly around, which is freaking weird and awesome all at once. As much as he moves now and as uncomfortable it can be I can't imagine as he gets even bigger. Yow!

The more he moves and the more I can distinguish his body the weirder this pregnancy thing gets. I mean, I have another person encased in my body cavity. Wtf, mate. Too bizarre, makes my brain hurt to think about it too much. And even weirder, that person has little boy tackle. ACK!

Everything else is good. Josh is starting show some signs of nesting and whatnot, as I slow down more and get bigger he is taking on projects and household duties. This weekend he is building me risers for the washer and dryer, so that I don't have to bend over to do the laundry anymore (I am pretty sure I pulled my groin doing the whites last time, lol).

I would like to thank all of the grandparents for their generous gifts. They are really helping us get the gear we need to be ready for this bundle when he gets here!

That's all for now, I will post again when we have pictures or something amazing happens :)

No this isn't a 4D movie, that was just my water breaking.

Hello all you Leif trackers! We had another doc appointment this week. No problems at all. His heartbeat is good, I am exactly the right size (according to my actual doc and not that crazy skinny doc I saw last time), my uterus measures 25 inches...centimeters...I don't remember, but apparently you should have the same number as the weeks you are pregnant and I am. I have to do the glucose test before my next appointment and at that appt they will schedule my next ultrasound to see how he is growing and see if his placenta has moved away from the escape hatch. However, even if his placenta hasn't moved my doc assures me that I should still be able to have a natural birth...oh goody. I am really rooting for a c-section at this point. I mean have you ever seen a birth video, I have seen "Faces of Death" movies that have scared me less.

In other news, I have a new companion I would like to introduce, everybody meet heartburn, heartburn this is everybody. Definitely not as bad as the vomiting but really annoying just the same. The suck part is that I am pretty hungry but if I eat enough to feel satisfied, whoa buddy, pain, lots of pain. Not just heartburn, but pressure around my lower ribs and kidneys. Small price to pay for your kid I guess. Oh! And why is it that I have to pee more frequently at night?! I mean come on, I am already tired and now I get to trudge upstairs (our one bathroom is on the second floor, anyone with an extra $5000 care to help us solve that problem?) every half hour. Joy.

I am in full swing of looking preggo, so much so that people are starting to ask me when I am due. It is kind of fun, and a little weird. If you think about it it's kind of a personal thing to ask about, "So when is the creature growing in your uterus going to exit through your vagina? Oh November, that's nice, just in time for Thanksgiving." The best encounter I have had so far was at the grocery store, a stock boy who had mental retardation pulls up beside me and asks me when I was having my baby, I told him and his whole face lit up, "Oh my god! OH MY GOD! That is when the Harry Potter movie comes out!" I was like "I know buddy, I hope I go into labor while watching it!"

Do your kids always have nicer stuff that you do?

Leif's crib finally arrived! Josh and I picked it up on Monday and put it together yesterday. It is beautiful! The color is very rich, not too much red, solid wood, heavy as hell, and just perfect. I can't wait to go get the bedding for it and make it up. I think we decided to go with all ecru/natural pieces. We hope this will make it easy to clean/bleach when he shits all over it, which my mom assures me will happen more than once. 

In other news he is kicking pretty hard now. I can see my belly getting punched from the inside. Pretty cool all in all, except it feels like getting sucker punched from the inside, there really is no bracing for that. And I think he knows when I have to pee, because he helps me by pushing against my bladder. What a sweetheart. 

We have another appointment in a week and a half. We will most likely have a glucose test and be scheduled for his next ultrasound, the 30 week one (we will be looking to see if his placenta has moved up and away from the cervix so that his escape route is clear). I will let you know what we find out. For now marvel at the wonder that is my spectacular taste in baby furniture...

Psht, what do the doctors know.

We had an appointment yesterday and everything looks good. Leif's heart rate was around 145 bpm. Nice and strong.

I, on the other hand received, a disapproving look from the OB for my weight. I have gained 11 pounds since they started to weigh me, but only 3 pounds in the last month. That's eleven pounds in the last 5 months. They told me I should gain 25-30 pounds over the course of my pregnancy, so that leaves me with up to 19 pounds for the next 4 months or so. So what the hell was she scowling about and lecturing me about .5-1 lbs of gain a week only and to make sure I am eating healthy. Grrrrrr. Makes me feel like crap when I am already trying to take care of myself. AND I was so sick that I lost like 5-10 lbs in the first two months, so as far as I am concerned I am only up 5 pounds from my normal weight.

Anyway, she just irritated me a little, kind of like that stupid twit at Macy's when I asked about maternity clothes and she said no but they have extra larges. I wanted to hit her.

In other news, we managed to get the kid's room cleaned out and the new floor laid last weekend. It turned out great. Now we need to decide colors and paint so that it is ready when the crib gets here.

Not much else happening. Leif is kicking strong, not so anyone else can feel it yet, but boy I can :) Mornings and evenings are his most active times, which I am told is pretty normal. I also notice that he quiets down for car rides and when I am on the go, which is normal as well.

Thank you for listening!

Halfway and loving it!

Well it has been a slow month for blogging. After the excitement of finding out his sex, not much else has been happening. Though I believe I have started to feel the little guy kick. It feels like the noise that those popper toys make that little kids push around with the balls in the dome, anyone know what I am talking about? And then sometimes it feels like gas that doesn't hurt, softer and rounder. Very cool, all in all.

Since getting all of the tests back that say he is healthy, no defects or anything, my biggest worry now is that he will strangle himself before he gets to come out. I have asked the OB about this likelihood, being that my mom had this happen to her and Josh was almost lost the same way, but she said that umbilical strangulation is very rare and nothing I can do will prevent or cause it. Be that as it may, it is the only thing I have left to worry about, so I do.

My next appointment is on the 8th of July. The OB told me that my placenta is riding too low, 3cm from the posterior side of my cervix. They are hoping that as Leif grows it will pull up and away naturally, but we won't get a change to see it again until a 30 week ultrasound (I am 20 weeks now).

I am starting to fill out my maternity clothes in earnest :) The belly bump is taking on a life of it's own. Also I am starting to get the pregnancy lean. You know the one, the distinctive belly forward, leaning back to balance the beach ball you are smuggling, walk. Ya, that one, I am beginning to go there.

Next week, oh joy of joys, I am going to find a maternity swimsuit, so that Josh and I can start using the pool at the Rec Center near our house, as part of my attempts to exercise. Wish me luck with the spandex!

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...gross.

It's official! We are having a boy! We had the ultrasound yesterday and the kid has external tackle. We are very excited about our son, and couldn't help but buy some newborn onesies. He was very cooperative and danced for us the whole time, flexing his spine and waving his limbs. Grandma Karla and Grandpa Phil got to go with Josh and I, which was special for all of us. The baby looks healthy, so the u/s technician tells us, no problems or anything. They also think that we are at 18 weeks, not 17 like the first u/s said. That gives Grandpa Phil a better chance of the kiddo arriving on his birthday. GP is also sure that the boy will be an athlete, the onsesie from GP says "Grandpa's Little Allstar."

I am stoked that it is a boy, that is what Josh and I were hoping for. We think we have decided on Leif Connor Konyndyk, for the name. Leif would be pronounced "Leaf" as an homage to Josh's middle name "Lee" and he will have my last two initials "C.K." which will be cool (hmmm, also Clark Kent, I wonder if he will be as good looking as Smallville...).

So I have to say that it is a little weird to think about the fact that I have a tiny boy living inside me. Makes the whole thing a more surreal, not sure why, but a girl seems more symbiotic, and it just is strange knowing I have a dude growing in me, peeing in my uterus with his little penis, lol. Strange.

I really like not calling the baby an "it" anymore and I am pretty excited that our first is a boy. Josh is stoked, he said "Whew, I know what to do with a boy. " I think he was stressed about how to raise a girl and this might have relieved some of that pressure for him.

Well with out further ado, here are some of the ultrasound pictures of our tiny man.

Anxiety, eustress, and ultrasounds: the psychology of my pregnancy.

Okay, so the scary shortness of breath episode, I am chalking up to anxiety, probably a full blown panic attack. Not sure of the source, though I lean toward it being a combination of eustress and distress. My GP is still running blood work to make sure all of my organs are working and whatnot, and I have gone ahead and made an appointment with a psychologist for good measure. On the up side, I have not had another episode since that first time, which is another clue that makes me think it was a panic attack. My GP agrees that with my hormones all ramped up that my sympathetic nervous system could easily kick over into that mode because it is a familiar place for it to be, but she is erring on the side of caution, thus the tests.

We received the results from the quad-screen blood work from the OB, which came back negative, so looks like no Down's Syndrome or neural tube defects. Go fetus!

In other news, we have company arriving tomorrow! My mom and dad get in early in the morning. I am very excited to share this whole thing with them in person! We are planning on shopping for maternity clothes and baby stuff while they are here as well as doing some nature walks.

We also get to try and find out the sex of the parasite on Thursday!! I will only be 17 weeks, so they warned me that we might not get a good enough picture yet, but we are keeping our fingers crossed. Oooh, and everyone gets to go, my husband, mom, and dad, how much fun is that?!

We aren't leaning one way or the other, but everyone I talk to tells me I am having a girl. Ex. "Oh you have been really sick, it will be a girl" or "You are already showing, it is a girl." or "Mars is in retrograde, it will be a girl." However the Chinese calendar prediction is a boy (that goes my month conceived and mom's age at conception). I have heard that boys are easier, less drama than girls, but I would like to be able to name my daughter after my mom. So I am on the fence. Grandpa Phil wants a girl because they are so sweet, but the caveat is that she has to be athletic. Grandma Karla wants a girl because she will get her name. Grandpa Marc wants a girl because he remembers how much fun his nieces were. I think that Grandma Darlene is subliminally hoping for a girl if the fuchsia stuffed bear she sent the baby is any indication :) And lastly Grandpa John is hoping for a boy, I think would like to see what a male of his bloodline would look like.

Really I am just looking forward to not calling the monster "it" anymore :) That is my driving force behind finding out the sex. It is interesting how many people sound disappointed when I tell them that we are finding out and aren't waiting to be surprised. But we figured, the technology is there, why not? Besides we are not notoriously patient people. I also think that this will help it "get real" for my husband who has been dragging his feet about getting stuff done for the baby, like cleaning all of the storage stuff out of the baby's room so we can start setting it up.

Lastly, I think I have finally traded in nausea for headaches. Yes! Score. Headaches I can work through. I still haven't gained any weight, maybe a couple of pounds and have only grown an inch in my waist and hips, but you can tell this belly has a grander purpose, or so my husband tells me.

Wish us luck on a good ultrasound position!

Worried? Me? Nah...Oh that, just a nose bleed, no connection.

This is less about my pregnancy and more about bitching for a moment. I know that I should treasure my sleep while I can and that sleeping past seven am is a luxury I will soon not be afforded, however I still don't think that makes it okay for my neighbors across the street to start weed whacking at 6:50 am! WTF. Rude. Not to mention the 8-8 quiet hours in the HOA rules. Inconsiderate! 

In other news I am having some spells of being short of breath and my vision getting fuzzy. I went to my GP for this problem and she sent me for a CT scan of my chest because she was worried that I might have a pulmonary embolism or pneumonia. The scan came out clean, so she felt that the problem was probably more psychological, i.e. panic attacks. I am inclined to agree with her, however, I don't feel like they come on at the right time to be panic attacks. For example I am not dwelling on the unimaginable horrors that could befall my newly forming family, I am not catastrophizing scenarios that leave either Josh or I alone with a newborn to raise on our own...okay so now I might be thinking about those things, but hey, no shortness of breath.

Anyway, you get my drift. So the GP asked me to take Ativan to see if that helped the symptoms. However, after consulting with my pharmacist sister, who informed me that Ativan, along with all anxiety medications, is a Class D pregnancy drug, meaning it has been shown to cause birth defects in humans especially in the first trimester and at high doses. Now while I am out of my first trimester and was not prescribed a high dose, I am still leery of taking it. I discussed this with my GP and she agreed and felt that we should do some blood work to check all of my organ functions and whatnot (ex. cholesterol, liver function, thyroid function, and the like) and if that comes back clean and I am still having "episodes" she wants to do an echo-cardiogram. Whew.

Personally I think this might be getting blown out of proportion due to the fact that I am pregnant. I do have a history of anxiety and I do have a tendency to somatize stress, in other words I push the stress away from my emotions and conscious though and channel it into my physiological being. So I never really feel that stressed out but I end up with odd physical symptoms that are not traceable to anything. Yeah, isn't psychology fun!

I will keep you all posted on how this unfolds, but I am probably just stressing out so no worries. In lighter news, I am no longer able to button my size 10 jeans and really shouldn't be trying to get into them in the first place. It pains me, no literally, it hurts ;)- I am running out of pants to wear. I need my mom to hurry up and get here already so that we can go maternity shopping! Which I refuse to do by myself and will not make my husband go do, not because he wouldn't, but because he is not super fun to shop with and this shopping for over-sized tents needs to be super fun.

Whither Thou Sleepest, Thou Will Not be in Danger of Smothering.

Well, not much happening on the preggo front. We had a doc appointment last week and I heard the heart beat, which was awesome. I got so inspired that I tried to hear it again with my baby doppler at home, but to no avail. I am hoping I just suck at sonar and it's not the device itself.

Still struggling with the clothes thing. I am definitely not fitting into my size 10 jeans at all. Well, I can fit them, but there is no way to zip or button them. I did find a cool pregnancy accessory, it is a Be-Band. It is a stretchy band of fabric that goes over your pants to about your hips and up over the belly, it holds your pre-pregnancy pants up while you are still refusing to buy maternity pants. Works great, plus it fills in the space between your pre-pregnancy shirts that are too short and your pants, making it look like you have a long undershirt on. Lifesaver!

I am into the first week of my second trimester! The nausea has changed from sick for no reason to sick because I am famished and could eat a small village. This is especially bad in the morning after not having eaten all night. I know people keep telling me to leave something to eat on my nightstand, but I just can't bring myself to want to eat during the night or before I get up. I am also getting sick of eating. Enough already! I am so tired of going to the kitchen and having to find something that sounds good and make it. Ugh. Also the semi-constant upset stomach and heartburn are wearing thin. I am hoping that this second trimester kicks into full gear and this ebbs for awhile.

I am trying out a prenatal pilates class this evening. It is at the hospital. I am hoping this will be a place to start building my preggie friends group. I am a little disappointed that most of the pregnancy classes and such are geared for working moms, and start in the evening. I am so tired by that time, but I am determined to get out of the house and meet people and get into shape, so I am biting the bullet on this one.

The kid received it's first gift last week. It is from Grandma Karla and Grandpa Phil. The gift is a co-sleeper that converts into a bassinet and a playpen; or excuse me, a "play yard" because apparently we don't put babies in "pens" anymore. Who decides this stuff? Anyway it is very cool and I can't wait to have a munchkin to throw in it!

Fashion Twilight Zone

Just one question, ladies. Why do the designers of maternity wear think that because you are carrying life, that all of your pants MUST be crops or capris? Who decided that mommy = floods?  I am tempted to go the skirt route to avoid this particular indignity. Another side note, Why did I have to wait to become preggo after the eighties came back in style. GROSS!

So with my twelfth week almost over my belly is starting to pooch out. I find myself rubbing it like it is a Buddha for good luck. The crappy part is that it is just pooching out, no distinct OMG she's pregnant look yet. Just a little fatter. Unless of course I smooth my shirt over my uterus and then you might say that you can see the roundness starting there, but I would just think that you were being nice. My grandmother seems to think that by telling me that my belly is just too big not to be due to the kid will make me feel better about it. But then again her mom used to tell me what a big girl I was. So maybe there is some genetic component there that lacks tact as well as the common courtesy to lie when your granddaughter is obviously distraught over looking fatter but not pregnant. The really weird thing is that I have lost two more pounds, despite what I see in the mirror. I guess that layer of blubber might just be melting away after all.

I did my first prenatal yoga tape! Loved it! But realized that my old yoga clothes look more than a little ridiculous (I ended up taking the shirt off, as it kept sliding up over my stomach). But my wonderful husband immediately told me to go get some maternity yoga gear when I called him to complain. Yeah! Shopping!

My size 10 pants that I was so stoked to buy just a few short weeks ago (actually the day before I found out I was pregnant) are torture devices now. Luckily I have some fat pants in my closet and will be able to use those for another month or so.

One last note, Mother's Day cards. When did they become so poignant?

To Pee or Not to Pee...Oh Who Am I Kidding.

Hmmmm. I am into week 12 and the books say the critter is about the size of a small plum, maybe a little over two inches. No butterfly wings in my stomach yet, just nausea and light cramping, yes! I will be so ecstatic when I can feel the little one and this is no longer just the flu that won't end. Though I am not showing yet my preexisting belly fat is definitely getting pushed forward, making me look bloated and pudgy, gross. I can no longer zip some of my pants up when they are straight out of the dryer, I kind of have to rubber band the button and zip them up a little more each time I pee. Speaking of peeing, I swear I went at least fifteen times yesterday. Is that normal? In the evening if I watch an hour long show I am peeing every commercial break, that can't be right can it? The saving grace is that I am staying at my mom's house in AZ with my grandma and there are no stairs to contend with for the time being. Seriously going to get a honey pot for my downstairs laundry room when I get back home (no bathroom on the main floor of my house, for those of you just joining the conversation).

 I had my first miscarriage dream. It was horrible. I dreamed that I went to go pee in the middle of the night and was a bloody mess from the waist down, I panicked and woke my husband up yelling. Freaking scary dude. In real life everything seems to be going according to plan. Nothing to report. I don't have another appointment until May 12th, the day after I get back from AZ.

I went ahead and got myself some prenatal yoga tapes, haven't tried them yet though. I have been too exhausted with getting my grandma to doctor's appointments and whatnot. But I am determined to start them soon. I am not too worried about forcing myself to do them while I am still so nauseous and tired, but that second trimester reprieve, you just watch out! I hope this sickness lets up and allows me to start enjoying this special time, not to mention getting this bod into better shape.

I fear that I am turning into my pregnant mom...I find that in the afternoons I can stave off nausea by keeping a steady influx of food going into my mouth, lol. I have been keeping an eye on it and only eating healthy snacks. I haven't craved any junk food yet (in fact processed foods are turning my stomach), but fresh fruit and salads are tasting great. My one vice is giant bowls of buttered egg noodles, mmmmmmmm.

Oh! The plane ride here was a special kind of torture. There were no air vents next to the reading lights! What in the blue blazes was that about, it's not like they weren't working, they just weren't there. And the turbulence coming out of Denver and landing in Phoenix was awful. I fully expected to vomit. The two guys sitting on either side of me were very nice and were helping fan me by the end of the flight. Oddly the next leg in the small turbo-prop plane was easy as pie. Go figure.

The kid's first visitors!

Today we get our first official pregnancy visit, my husband's dad and grandpa are arriving today! I am psyched to have people in the flesh to talk to and share with. As I have said before, it is a little lonely for me right now. I am working on fixing that though, next weekend I am going to give the scooter a tune up and hopefully start going to the Brighton Rec Center for swim classes, maybe I will meet some other moms-to-be there. We are also trying to figure out how to get a second vehicle, I know it is not a necessity right now, but will become so with a newborn in the house (plus I just gotta have wheels).

I received the results of my first round of blood tests, all is well. No chromosomal anomalies, yes! We have decided not to do the CVS testing and extended blood-work that is becoming fashionable right now, but stick to the basics (besides, that CVS testing has a higher risk of miscarriage than the than the rate of the diseases it tests for, stupid). We have no risk for anything they test for and no family history, so we figured why bother. It's not like we would terminate the pregnancy if we found out something was wrong with the kid. So we will let them do their routine tests and just keep riding the warm fuzzies that are telling us everything is perfectly fine and we will have a normal kid (no gills or beaks). 

On the hilarious side, my husband is experiencing full-on Couvade Syndrome. This means he is exhibiting pregnancy symptoms right along with me :) Most noticeably is the decrease in aggression, not that he is aggressive, but take driving as an example: usually when I am riding shotgun I am cringing and stomping the invisible passenger brake and grabbing the "Oh Shit" handle fairly often (I think this stems from my few car accidents more than his driving, which can be a tad more offensive when compared to my defensive style), but now when I drive he is the one squealing, worrying, telling me to watch out and basically spazzing out in the passenger seat. I love the role reversal. He has also been complaining about feeling bloated and not having any appetite. And the most hilarious symptom, which he will probably kill me for sharing, his loss of sex drive, lol! He says it just seems like a lot of work right now. This cracks me up!

Couvade Syndrome is most prominent in husbands who spend a significant amount of time with their wives, and since we are best buds, we hang out all the time when he is not at work, so it is no wonder he is feeling the effects of "our" pregnancy. My pregnancy books say that Couvade Syndrome is caused by a 1/3 decrease in testosterone and increases in prolactin (lactation stimulant and sedative), cortisol (helps recover from stress, soothing), and estradiol (female sex hormone).

So, ladies, any fun stories about your hubbies pregnancy symptoms? Do tell.

Update on the munchkin and its incubator.

Not much to report this weekend. I am doing better. It seems the nausea is retreating to the am, but it also seems to be starting before I wake up which is kind of lame. However, I feel pregnant instead of just sick which is sweet.

I want to thank all of the grandparents for their support and excitement. As I said before I think they are more jazzed than we are, if that is possible. I think that is because they already know the layers emotion and experiences while we get to be surprised by each new one.

My energy is increasing, I have been able to resume and start some of the house projects that I abruptly ceased with the onset of the sickness. Not much else to report, I do have a feeling that this blog will slow down now that I am settling into being preggers. But keep checking in with me, I will post any new developments and whatnot :)

It has my head and its dad's chest.

1st doc appointment went great! The kid is 9 wks with an estimated due date of November 11th (and that is kid, singular, no multiples for you sadists that were pulling for twins).

The ultrasound was the most AMAZING experience! I had no idea how connected I would feel to my parasite after seeing it on the big screen. The pictures I have do not do it justice, the sonogram screen was so clear! Oh! And the little bugger danced for us! We saw it move its hands and feet! We also got to see the heartbeat, nice and strong. It is 2.35cm long at the moment.


I am so jacked from that experience that I really don't know what else to write so with out further ado, here is our kid's first picture.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll see it tomorrow...

It's only a day a-way!

Yes that is right. Tomorrow is the big day! First sonogram! I will post the pic as soon as I get home so that you too can enjoy the blurry mass that is our unborn child.

TTFN

Hurking and Cramping

So I think I have noticed a pattern. I feel sick and then get some cramping. My theory is that a surge of hormones causes the nausea and a growth spurt one after the other, resulting in the hurking and cramping cycle I have been trapped in.

I am so Dr. House, MD.

P.S. I can't wait for this damn placenta to finish growing.

Drugs are Good!

This morning I got a little scared. During the course of my normal early morning hurl I noticed some blood commingling with the bile. Concerned I called a nurse line and was instructed to go to the emergency room as soon as I was able. Kind of freaked, I called my step-mother, who has been an RN forever, and asked for her opinion, she also said that I should go to the ER. My early morning grump of a hubby and I dutifully set off for the doc. Long emergency room visit made short, I caused some minor tears in my esophagus. The damage is caused by excessive vomiting and they put me on a saline drip and pushed some Zofran. Lovely.

Ode to Zofran
I love Zofran.
I've said enough.

I felt great for most of the day. Still tired but, man, not sick to my stomach hardly at all. Score. Apparently this drug is very safe for me and the baby, right up there with Tylenol and chewable Flinstones vitamins. I am going to consult with my OB on Wednesday about the Zofran, of course, but I gotta tell you I will probably keep using, even if she thinks it will make the monster have flippers (watch out Micheal Phelps, here comes my seal). I feel human for the first time in weeks!

Not much else going on this weekend, just working on building the patio. Oh! I also decided to pickle this fall and I am starting my seeds this weekend (cucumbers, beets, peas - not pickled, pumpkin - not pickled, mild peppers, and tomatoes - not pickled). I can't wait to build my above ground garden so that I can be cool just like my friend Ashley (she also inspired my earring choices, if I work hard enough I know I can morph into her :). Aaaahhhhhhhhh, spring!

It's story time.

That's right all of you already mommies, I want your 1st trimester horror stories. Tell about your trials, share you humiliation, connect with others like you. Please, do tell...

Happy Birthday (for me not the monster)

Ok people, my first b-day present was nausea followed by another episode of evacuation out of both end of the digestive tract at the same time (I have started to keep a pail by the toilet, easier than trying to lean over the edge of the tub while keeping my butt aligned on the seat). Awesome! I love this little bugger.

Happy to report that after that little miracle the rest of the surprises were good ones. I even received my baby doppler heart monitor today (and yes I know that I probably won't be able to hear the heart beat until 10-12 weeks, but I just had to get one when I saw them). My mom also made me some pregnancy sleep pants with lots of room to "grow" and my mother-in-law sent some great green tea lotions and whatnot (good smell, no gag reflex) to pamper myself with.

If my guess about my LMP (last menstrual period, yes there is even pregnancy jargon) is correct, my parasite is about the size of a large green olive, I like to think it is stuffed with jalapeno, yum.

I found a great band, with awesome schwag!

Today I finally got a hold of some "Sea-Bands", they are these acupressure wristbands that hit the P6 or "inner gate" point which is supposed to calm upset stomach. You know what? I think that they might be helping. Since wearing them my stomach is not totally calm, but I only yarked once today and that was before the bands. I still felt queasy but was able to eat some small stuff. I also discovered that the company that makes the bands also has ginger gum, which is great for a fast fix for rapid onset nausea. Go team pregnancy!

I am still worn out as all hell, but I managed to run an errand and spray weed killer on the front yard today :)

Bodily functions that should not be able to happen at the same time.

Okay. So. Not to get all national geographic on my readers, but this morning I had two unexpected, never before experienced...well, experiences. The first was around 9 am as I was hugging the porcelain god my bladder decides it not longer wants to be full either and promptly evacuates itself mid-heave. Awesome. My next exciting conglomeration was about an hour or so later, can you guess? Yes! You are right I was poopin' and yakkin' in unison. Joy.

I spoke to my mom-in-law and she told me that she was sick like I am when she was pregnant with my husband. My mom said that she had morning sickness with me, but that it was not that bad. SO, this is your fault husband of mine! Your half of this monster is making me sick :)-

About the doc I saw on Friday, totally sketchy. The first form on my pile was an HIV consent form, not a good start. The rest of the forms were photo copied, badly. The place was not dirty, but not exactly clean either. The last nail in the coffin was when I was asked to pee in a cup, and by cup I do not mean a sterilized specimen collection receptacle, I mean dixie cup, from a stack on the floor and I was to write my name on it with the sharpie that was attached to the toilet with some string and masking tape. Needless to say I did not leave my sample, even though it had been 25 minutes since I last peed and really needed to go, we left on the spot.

Thus, I am sticking to my regular doctor's visit on the 14th. My stepmother also is looking into my doctor to find out how good she is and my step-mom is in a position to get me into a great OB if mine turns out to be less than stellar.

Not much else to report, but then again I think I have shared enough for one day.

Superstitions are for the bird-brains.

Tell everyone! Okay what am I talking about? I am talking about every book and website I have read that says something to the effect of the following: "Now that you know you are pregnant, don't tell ANYONE!" This makes no sense to me. First of all I am not the least bit superstitious, talking about something wonderful will NOT make it any less likely to happen. You will not jinx yourself. Second, and this may be more individual, but I have dealt with trauma all on my own and it sucks and is not healthy. Losing a baby would be incredibly traumatic, don't you want to be able to turn to people in you life for support? So here is what we are doing: told all of our parents as soon as we found out, next I have been telling people that I will never see again and people that have to know like my chiropractor (made an appt. just to be able to tell someone in person), next we are going to a doctor appointment to make sure we did not hallucinate the whole thing, then tell the rest of the extended family and friends (anyone who I would not mind talking to if things go south), the only people we are not telling until the second trimester are acquaintances or people that we only see now and then.

One of the reasons for this is to help bring the surprising frequency of miscarriage out of the closet. I had no idea that it happens as much as it does. I would have like to know that going in, instead of getting to worry about it all at once now that I have a passenger. It is a little overwhelming when you find out your preggers and start reading and find out that 1 in 5 women miscarry. Yikes! But hey they also say that 1 in 3 is raped and I am the 1 in that group, so maybe I will be one of the lucky 4 that makes it all the way the first time. Let's hope :)

Something else I noticed is the amount of stuff I am carrying is already increasing. I am usually a phone, id, money card shoved in the back pocket of my jeans kind of girl, now I am toting extra fluids and a plastic sick bag, just in case. So I see this as a gradual slide that starts with an extra bottle of water and ends in a diaper bag and monster carrier. It's true life does change when you bring a kiddo into things :)

We have our first doctor's appointment today, just blood work I think. I am seeing a new OB, my usual gyno did not even schedule me for 2 1/2 weeks when I called them and that did not sit right with me. I wanted to be seen immediately, too many questions, and I am the kind of person that will read something and think it is right but not be convinced until I have spoken with an expert in the field who is attuned to my particular case. I am also convinced that I am missing something vital to the well being of my child, and if I wait too long it will come out looking more like a seal than a person. Plus the receptionist was kind of bitchy and did not congratulate me once, eff her. They are also rural which I feel means they are more into the mechanics of the thing, treating it as old hat more than the emotional journey, and I think I want a more urban hippy kind of experience, lots of warm fuzz and ado, after all I am bringing life into the world, make me feel special, pamper me dammit!

I did go ahead and make the appointment with the original gyno for my first ultrasound which is on the 15th, I think, but I want to see what the new OB is like and if they are better then I will reschedule it with them. If not, I will continue my search for the right doctor. 

So that is all for the morning. Everything else is pretty much same-o, the puking never ends. There should be some kind of award for making it to the sink/toilet every time, in time. 

Food does not sound good anymore. It is more like varying degrees of offense: tolerable to hugging the kitchen sink. Yep the kitchen sink. I find it is a better option, as the smell of the toilet often makes me hurk harder. Bleh. My husband has been very good about helping keep the garbage disposal side of it clear of dishes for hassle free yakking :)

Last nights sleep sucked. My chesticles are starting that whole tender thing and I am not able to sleep on my stomach, which is how I normally sleep. I guess I just have more time to get used to sleeping on my side before the belly becomes the obstacle, right?

On a lighter note, my "Pregnancy Sucks" book is hilarious while being very comforting and down to earth. She says that in addition to the normal don'ts of pregnancy (no excess chocolate, no trampolines, no hot showers, etc.) she wants the preggos to vote to include the following as well (some are mine most are hers):

1. Do Dishes
2. Run Errands
3. Drive a car
4. Do Laundry
5. Kill Household Insects
6. Go to Family's House (they should all come to you)
7. Handle Raw Meat
8. Wait in Line
9. Pay Full Price
10. Fold Fitted Sheets
11. Smell Fridge

I love it! Hear that guys, this is how to treat us like the baby makers we are!

Nothing else to report so far today, except these bizarre burps. Water makes me burp for frick's sake. Oh yeah, and today is day one of the night-time pee tally, last night it was three times before I got up for the day, and I didn't actually get into bed until 2 am and got up at 9am. That's an average of every two hours or so. I fully expected the husband to make some kind of comment about my moving around so much, especially when after the last time I went potty then laid down and immediately had to launch myself out of bed and race back to the bathroom to dry heave. But he didn't. Good man, love you right now :)

Okay I think I have been up long enough and inhaled enough chamomile that I am going to attempt whole grain Eggos, organic peanut butter, organic maple syrup and a glass of milk. Ooh! We just started getting milk delivered! Score. Even better.

Pregnancy Books

Wow, so posting a lot today. We just returned from the bookstore with the following:

Great Expectations: Your All-in-One Resource for Pregnancy and Childbirth (This one is like a field manual, tables, charts, pictures, dos and don'ts, etc.)

Pregnancy Sucks: What to Do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable (This is a funny anecdotal account of one woman's pregnancy. Some tips and wives tales but mostly just commiseration, very sarcastic)

Caveman's Pregnancy Companion (Obviously for the dad to be, funny, raunchy guide to being a great helpmate and provider for the newly pregnant wife and baby)

We will let you know which ones are worth it. I also am constantly checking the WhatToExpect.com site.

Smells that should never associate

Eggs and old bong water. My lovely husband was cooking me some scrambled eggs and by the time they were ready for the plate I was ready for the airsick bag. Needless to say I have to eat at some point so I did the ole hold your breath and swallow a lot real fast trick. That sort of worked, but I couldn't watch him eat his breakfast afterward if I intended to keep mine down :)

Why I am doing this...

A couple of reasons for this blog. First and foremost is that my family is scattered to the winds and everyone wants constant updates :) The second reason is that recently moving states has significantly reduced my friend-sphere. I virtually know no women in Colorado. So I am hoping that this will be a forum for me to be able to talk about what's happening to me as this little monster grows inside me as well as connect to and share with other women and men who have deemed me worthy to read.

Thank you in advance for your comments and suggestions :)

One o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, four.

11:45 pm, 2:15 am, 7:30 am, 8:10 am...

Have you guessed yet? Yep, that was my pee schedule last night. Yeah! I am starting to dread what it will be like when my uterus starts to really elbow out my bladder for room. Oh! And the nausea, it's not going anywhere. It is becoming more constant all the time. I mean I love hurking as I am peeing as much as the next gal, but come on!

My husband asked me this morning, as I am fighting nausea and trying desperately to sleep some more, if I needed to move around so much. Not that he is uncaring in the slightest, I just think that they, the dudes, really don't understand just how uncomfortable this whole thing really is. To his credit, he brought me home lilies yesterday, one smell that I can tolerate, go hubby.

So I am thinking that I need to have a doula for this event. I recently moved states and have yet to make friends out here in the country. I have virtually no social support...

Okay, just signed up for two pregnancy "meetup" groups hopefully that will get me started in the right direction. Anyone with any suggestions about where to meet other pregnant women let me know.

We didn't make it to the book store yesterday so we are going to try again today :) Any suggestions on baby books that you have loved?

My Eggo is Preggo

This is day three of me knowing, but no doctor's appointment yet, Friday is the first one.

I woke up this morning too early, crawled to the potty, and tried to sleep some more. Unfortunately, the smell of my husband's unconscious breath was too much for my heightened olfactory sense and it sent me running for the porcelain again. Okay, so I didn't really think that I would be able to get a full night's sleep anyway, so might as well get up.

I make myself brush my teeth, even though the taste of the toothpaste almost sends me over the edge again. I had to buy different smelling soaps and lotions yesterday, my normal ones were giving me quease. I head downstairs to make myself some ginger tea, I make it too strong, does nothing for the stomach. Naustrated (yeah, that's frustrated and nauseous) I turn to the herbal remedies. Something has to help.

Finally, presto! I found the smell that works! Huzzah!

Whew, now that I am able to move around and smell the normal smells of my house again, I think I will clean :)

Later this afternoon my husband and I are going to buy some baby books, wish us luck!