To Pee or Not to Pee...Oh Who Am I Kidding.

Hmmmm. I am into week 12 and the books say the critter is about the size of a small plum, maybe a little over two inches. No butterfly wings in my stomach yet, just nausea and light cramping, yes! I will be so ecstatic when I can feel the little one and this is no longer just the flu that won't end. Though I am not showing yet my preexisting belly fat is definitely getting pushed forward, making me look bloated and pudgy, gross. I can no longer zip some of my pants up when they are straight out of the dryer, I kind of have to rubber band the button and zip them up a little more each time I pee. Speaking of peeing, I swear I went at least fifteen times yesterday. Is that normal? In the evening if I watch an hour long show I am peeing every commercial break, that can't be right can it? The saving grace is that I am staying at my mom's house in AZ with my grandma and there are no stairs to contend with for the time being. Seriously going to get a honey pot for my downstairs laundry room when I get back home (no bathroom on the main floor of my house, for those of you just joining the conversation).

 I had my first miscarriage dream. It was horrible. I dreamed that I went to go pee in the middle of the night and was a bloody mess from the waist down, I panicked and woke my husband up yelling. Freaking scary dude. In real life everything seems to be going according to plan. Nothing to report. I don't have another appointment until May 12th, the day after I get back from AZ.

I went ahead and got myself some prenatal yoga tapes, haven't tried them yet though. I have been too exhausted with getting my grandma to doctor's appointments and whatnot. But I am determined to start them soon. I am not too worried about forcing myself to do them while I am still so nauseous and tired, but that second trimester reprieve, you just watch out! I hope this sickness lets up and allows me to start enjoying this special time, not to mention getting this bod into better shape.

I fear that I am turning into my pregnant mom...I find that in the afternoons I can stave off nausea by keeping a steady influx of food going into my mouth, lol. I have been keeping an eye on it and only eating healthy snacks. I haven't craved any junk food yet (in fact processed foods are turning my stomach), but fresh fruit and salads are tasting great. My one vice is giant bowls of buttered egg noodles, mmmmmmmm.

Oh! The plane ride here was a special kind of torture. There were no air vents next to the reading lights! What in the blue blazes was that about, it's not like they weren't working, they just weren't there. And the turbulence coming out of Denver and landing in Phoenix was awful. I fully expected to vomit. The two guys sitting on either side of me were very nice and were helping fan me by the end of the flight. Oddly the next leg in the small turbo-prop plane was easy as pie. Go figure.

The kid's first visitors!

Today we get our first official pregnancy visit, my husband's dad and grandpa are arriving today! I am psyched to have people in the flesh to talk to and share with. As I have said before, it is a little lonely for me right now. I am working on fixing that though, next weekend I am going to give the scooter a tune up and hopefully start going to the Brighton Rec Center for swim classes, maybe I will meet some other moms-to-be there. We are also trying to figure out how to get a second vehicle, I know it is not a necessity right now, but will become so with a newborn in the house (plus I just gotta have wheels).

I received the results of my first round of blood tests, all is well. No chromosomal anomalies, yes! We have decided not to do the CVS testing and extended blood-work that is becoming fashionable right now, but stick to the basics (besides, that CVS testing has a higher risk of miscarriage than the than the rate of the diseases it tests for, stupid). We have no risk for anything they test for and no family history, so we figured why bother. It's not like we would terminate the pregnancy if we found out something was wrong with the kid. So we will let them do their routine tests and just keep riding the warm fuzzies that are telling us everything is perfectly fine and we will have a normal kid (no gills or beaks). 

On the hilarious side, my husband is experiencing full-on Couvade Syndrome. This means he is exhibiting pregnancy symptoms right along with me :) Most noticeably is the decrease in aggression, not that he is aggressive, but take driving as an example: usually when I am riding shotgun I am cringing and stomping the invisible passenger brake and grabbing the "Oh Shit" handle fairly often (I think this stems from my few car accidents more than his driving, which can be a tad more offensive when compared to my defensive style), but now when I drive he is the one squealing, worrying, telling me to watch out and basically spazzing out in the passenger seat. I love the role reversal. He has also been complaining about feeling bloated and not having any appetite. And the most hilarious symptom, which he will probably kill me for sharing, his loss of sex drive, lol! He says it just seems like a lot of work right now. This cracks me up!

Couvade Syndrome is most prominent in husbands who spend a significant amount of time with their wives, and since we are best buds, we hang out all the time when he is not at work, so it is no wonder he is feeling the effects of "our" pregnancy. My pregnancy books say that Couvade Syndrome is caused by a 1/3 decrease in testosterone and increases in prolactin (lactation stimulant and sedative), cortisol (helps recover from stress, soothing), and estradiol (female sex hormone).

So, ladies, any fun stories about your hubbies pregnancy symptoms? Do tell.

Update on the munchkin and its incubator.

Not much to report this weekend. I am doing better. It seems the nausea is retreating to the am, but it also seems to be starting before I wake up which is kind of lame. However, I feel pregnant instead of just sick which is sweet.

I want to thank all of the grandparents for their support and excitement. As I said before I think they are more jazzed than we are, if that is possible. I think that is because they already know the layers emotion and experiences while we get to be surprised by each new one.

My energy is increasing, I have been able to resume and start some of the house projects that I abruptly ceased with the onset of the sickness. Not much else to report, I do have a feeling that this blog will slow down now that I am settling into being preggers. But keep checking in with me, I will post any new developments and whatnot :)

It has my head and its dad's chest.

1st doc appointment went great! The kid is 9 wks with an estimated due date of November 11th (and that is kid, singular, no multiples for you sadists that were pulling for twins).

The ultrasound was the most AMAZING experience! I had no idea how connected I would feel to my parasite after seeing it on the big screen. The pictures I have do not do it justice, the sonogram screen was so clear! Oh! And the little bugger danced for us! We saw it move its hands and feet! We also got to see the heartbeat, nice and strong. It is 2.35cm long at the moment.


I am so jacked from that experience that I really don't know what else to write so with out further ado, here is our kid's first picture.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll see it tomorrow...

It's only a day a-way!

Yes that is right. Tomorrow is the big day! First sonogram! I will post the pic as soon as I get home so that you too can enjoy the blurry mass that is our unborn child.

TTFN

Hurking and Cramping

So I think I have noticed a pattern. I feel sick and then get some cramping. My theory is that a surge of hormones causes the nausea and a growth spurt one after the other, resulting in the hurking and cramping cycle I have been trapped in.

I am so Dr. House, MD.

P.S. I can't wait for this damn placenta to finish growing.

Drugs are Good!

This morning I got a little scared. During the course of my normal early morning hurl I noticed some blood commingling with the bile. Concerned I called a nurse line and was instructed to go to the emergency room as soon as I was able. Kind of freaked, I called my step-mother, who has been an RN forever, and asked for her opinion, she also said that I should go to the ER. My early morning grump of a hubby and I dutifully set off for the doc. Long emergency room visit made short, I caused some minor tears in my esophagus. The damage is caused by excessive vomiting and they put me on a saline drip and pushed some Zofran. Lovely.

Ode to Zofran
I love Zofran.
I've said enough.

I felt great for most of the day. Still tired but, man, not sick to my stomach hardly at all. Score. Apparently this drug is very safe for me and the baby, right up there with Tylenol and chewable Flinstones vitamins. I am going to consult with my OB on Wednesday about the Zofran, of course, but I gotta tell you I will probably keep using, even if she thinks it will make the monster have flippers (watch out Micheal Phelps, here comes my seal). I feel human for the first time in weeks!

Not much else going on this weekend, just working on building the patio. Oh! I also decided to pickle this fall and I am starting my seeds this weekend (cucumbers, beets, peas - not pickled, pumpkin - not pickled, mild peppers, and tomatoes - not pickled). I can't wait to build my above ground garden so that I can be cool just like my friend Ashley (she also inspired my earring choices, if I work hard enough I know I can morph into her :). Aaaahhhhhhhhh, spring!

It's story time.

That's right all of you already mommies, I want your 1st trimester horror stories. Tell about your trials, share you humiliation, connect with others like you. Please, do tell...

Happy Birthday (for me not the monster)

Ok people, my first b-day present was nausea followed by another episode of evacuation out of both end of the digestive tract at the same time (I have started to keep a pail by the toilet, easier than trying to lean over the edge of the tub while keeping my butt aligned on the seat). Awesome! I love this little bugger.

Happy to report that after that little miracle the rest of the surprises were good ones. I even received my baby doppler heart monitor today (and yes I know that I probably won't be able to hear the heart beat until 10-12 weeks, but I just had to get one when I saw them). My mom also made me some pregnancy sleep pants with lots of room to "grow" and my mother-in-law sent some great green tea lotions and whatnot (good smell, no gag reflex) to pamper myself with.

If my guess about my LMP (last menstrual period, yes there is even pregnancy jargon) is correct, my parasite is about the size of a large green olive, I like to think it is stuffed with jalapeno, yum.

I found a great band, with awesome schwag!

Today I finally got a hold of some "Sea-Bands", they are these acupressure wristbands that hit the P6 or "inner gate" point which is supposed to calm upset stomach. You know what? I think that they might be helping. Since wearing them my stomach is not totally calm, but I only yarked once today and that was before the bands. I still felt queasy but was able to eat some small stuff. I also discovered that the company that makes the bands also has ginger gum, which is great for a fast fix for rapid onset nausea. Go team pregnancy!

I am still worn out as all hell, but I managed to run an errand and spray weed killer on the front yard today :)

Bodily functions that should not be able to happen at the same time.

Okay. So. Not to get all national geographic on my readers, but this morning I had two unexpected, never before experienced...well, experiences. The first was around 9 am as I was hugging the porcelain god my bladder decides it not longer wants to be full either and promptly evacuates itself mid-heave. Awesome. My next exciting conglomeration was about an hour or so later, can you guess? Yes! You are right I was poopin' and yakkin' in unison. Joy.

I spoke to my mom-in-law and she told me that she was sick like I am when she was pregnant with my husband. My mom said that she had morning sickness with me, but that it was not that bad. SO, this is your fault husband of mine! Your half of this monster is making me sick :)-

About the doc I saw on Friday, totally sketchy. The first form on my pile was an HIV consent form, not a good start. The rest of the forms were photo copied, badly. The place was not dirty, but not exactly clean either. The last nail in the coffin was when I was asked to pee in a cup, and by cup I do not mean a sterilized specimen collection receptacle, I mean dixie cup, from a stack on the floor and I was to write my name on it with the sharpie that was attached to the toilet with some string and masking tape. Needless to say I did not leave my sample, even though it had been 25 minutes since I last peed and really needed to go, we left on the spot.

Thus, I am sticking to my regular doctor's visit on the 14th. My stepmother also is looking into my doctor to find out how good she is and my step-mom is in a position to get me into a great OB if mine turns out to be less than stellar.

Not much else to report, but then again I think I have shared enough for one day.

Superstitions are for the bird-brains.

Tell everyone! Okay what am I talking about? I am talking about every book and website I have read that says something to the effect of the following: "Now that you know you are pregnant, don't tell ANYONE!" This makes no sense to me. First of all I am not the least bit superstitious, talking about something wonderful will NOT make it any less likely to happen. You will not jinx yourself. Second, and this may be more individual, but I have dealt with trauma all on my own and it sucks and is not healthy. Losing a baby would be incredibly traumatic, don't you want to be able to turn to people in you life for support? So here is what we are doing: told all of our parents as soon as we found out, next I have been telling people that I will never see again and people that have to know like my chiropractor (made an appt. just to be able to tell someone in person), next we are going to a doctor appointment to make sure we did not hallucinate the whole thing, then tell the rest of the extended family and friends (anyone who I would not mind talking to if things go south), the only people we are not telling until the second trimester are acquaintances or people that we only see now and then.

One of the reasons for this is to help bring the surprising frequency of miscarriage out of the closet. I had no idea that it happens as much as it does. I would have like to know that going in, instead of getting to worry about it all at once now that I have a passenger. It is a little overwhelming when you find out your preggers and start reading and find out that 1 in 5 women miscarry. Yikes! But hey they also say that 1 in 3 is raped and I am the 1 in that group, so maybe I will be one of the lucky 4 that makes it all the way the first time. Let's hope :)

Something else I noticed is the amount of stuff I am carrying is already increasing. I am usually a phone, id, money card shoved in the back pocket of my jeans kind of girl, now I am toting extra fluids and a plastic sick bag, just in case. So I see this as a gradual slide that starts with an extra bottle of water and ends in a diaper bag and monster carrier. It's true life does change when you bring a kiddo into things :)

We have our first doctor's appointment today, just blood work I think. I am seeing a new OB, my usual gyno did not even schedule me for 2 1/2 weeks when I called them and that did not sit right with me. I wanted to be seen immediately, too many questions, and I am the kind of person that will read something and think it is right but not be convinced until I have spoken with an expert in the field who is attuned to my particular case. I am also convinced that I am missing something vital to the well being of my child, and if I wait too long it will come out looking more like a seal than a person. Plus the receptionist was kind of bitchy and did not congratulate me once, eff her. They are also rural which I feel means they are more into the mechanics of the thing, treating it as old hat more than the emotional journey, and I think I want a more urban hippy kind of experience, lots of warm fuzz and ado, after all I am bringing life into the world, make me feel special, pamper me dammit!

I did go ahead and make the appointment with the original gyno for my first ultrasound which is on the 15th, I think, but I want to see what the new OB is like and if they are better then I will reschedule it with them. If not, I will continue my search for the right doctor. 

So that is all for the morning. Everything else is pretty much same-o, the puking never ends. There should be some kind of award for making it to the sink/toilet every time, in time.